New Moon: by Edward Cullen
by CreativeWritingGirl
Summary: I didn't like the reunion scene in New Moon, so I re-wrote it from Edward's POV. Please give this a chance, I dont know how to summarize it but it's fluffy, I promise.


I slipped in through the window just as I had done so many times before.

There she was. Bella, my Bella. I could hear the soft thrumming of her heart and her steady breathing. She was here. Alive. I started towards the rocking chair, but decided that it was too far for my Bella. I moved silently to her bedside, sitting where I could see her face.

She was so beautiful. Her ivory skin glowed in the moonlight. Her dark eyelashes rested on her cheekbones. In sleep, her lips were parted slightly. I wanted, more than anything, to touch her face, to hold her and kiss her and never let go. But I couldn't. I couldn't do that anymore. She wasn't mine any longer. And I'd never regretted anything more in my entire century of life. When I'd thought she was dead, it hadn't been guilt that had sent me to the Volturi. It had been devastation. There was no life for me without her. She was my everything. And I'd walked away from that.

I couldn't resist her anymore. I reached out and touched her cheek, white on white. She was soft and warm. She sighed deeply, and her scent filled my throat like fire. But I loved the pain. It was a reminder that she was here. She was real.

Bella mumbled a little in her sleep. Her sleepy voice rolled over me, reminding me of the early days of our relationship. I'd been so scared of hurting her. She mumbled again, more insistently this time. I stroked her cheek. Suddenly, her breathing accelerated; her heart thudded.

was going to wake up. I withdrew my hand. I had to leave. to see her again after yesterday would be unbearable.

I reached the window instantly and was about to pull myself through it when I hesitated. I took one last breath of Bella's scent, like a smoker's last cigarette before he quits. I wouldn't be able to go on without her. But I didn't have a choice. This was about protecting Bella. I had to keep her safe.

"Edward?"

I froze.

"Edward?" Bella's sleepy mumble grew clearer.

I couldn't turn around. "Bella," I breathed. I stared at the wall. Listening to her heart get faster. She moved slightly. Sat up. Her smell swirled, reaching me again.

"Edward," she whispered, almost inaudible.

I turned to face her. She was sitting up, deliberately not meeting my eyes. Her eyelashes quivered with unshed tears.

"Bella, I...Please, Bella..." My thoughts were a jumbled mess.

"I'm so sorry, Edward." Her eyes were fixed on the blankets beneath her.

I was baffled. "What?"

"I...I was so stupid. And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone anywhere near that cliff. You don't have to stay here. I know...I know you probably w-want to..." Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "to leave again."

I felt like I'd been punched. "Is that what you think?"

She still didn't look at me. "Isn't it?" Her voice was thin and afraid. This wasn't the Bella I knew. Not my Bella. This Bella was broken. I'd broken her. The weight of that crushed me. The girl I loved was damaged. And It was my fault.

"Oh, Bella," I whispered. I moved to her bedside again and sat. We were face to face, but her eyes were still trained of the comforter. I reached out, but she flinched away.

"Don't, she begged. "I don't want to wake up."

Oh. She thought she was dreaming. My hand hung suspended in the air between us. Bella's eyes were squeezed shut. A single tear raced down her cheek, glinting in the half-light.

"Bella," I pleaded. "Look at me."

She shook her head, not opening her eyes. There it was again. Her smell. Her perfect, irresistible smell. I couldn't not touch her. I reached out and cupped her face.

She gasped like she'd been slapped.

"Bella. I'm begging you."

After a long moment, she did. But her beautiful brown eyes were filled with fear. I was shocked. Bella was never afraid. Not of James. Not of the Volturi. Not of the werewolves. But the fear in her eyes was unmistakable. She was afraid of me.

"Just go," she said, pushing my arm away.

That stung. "Is that what you really want?"

Bella opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

"Bella, if you want me to go, I'l go."

"I...I'm..." She was crying now, struggling with the words.

I brushed her tears away as softly as i could. I wanted to kiss her _so badly._ More than anything. But I couldn't. I'd told her that I didn't want her. And I was right. I didn't want her. I needed her. I couldn't live without her.

"Tell me this, Bella," I said, looking into her eyes.

She bit her lip.

I continued, "Did you miss me?"

I didn't know how I wanted her to answer. I wanted her to have moved on. To have found someone else. To not have missed me. But another, more selfish part of me wanted her to be as broken as I was. I wanted her to say no; I needed her to say yes.

She met my eyes for the duration of three deep breaths. "Yes," she whispered. "More than anything."

Relief flooded my body.

"It was unbearable," she continued, still very quietly. "I wanted to die. I couldn't eat, couldn't-" She stopped suddenly. "You should go. Thank you...for everything."

I looked at her, thoroughly confused. "Why would I go?"

She blinked. "Because you don't have to be here."

Oh. Right. "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"What if I told you that I wanted to stay?"

Her eyes darkened. "Then I would think I was dreaming again."

"Will you ever forgive me?"

"You made your...wishes...very clear." She was on the verge of sobbing.

"Oh, God, Bella," I said, leaning into her. We were inches apart. "I lied Bella. I lied, and I'm sorry. How could you believe me? After I told you, so many times, how much I love you, I need you, I can't live without you. Being away from you was awful, Bella. There are no words for how terrible it was. Please, Bella. I need you. Forgive me for everything I have done. I'm so sorry."

Her eyes were shattered. Tears streamed freely down her cheeks. "If you loved me," she whispered thickly, "then why did you leave me?"

My throat burned, and now it wasn't just from Bella's scent. It burned with guilt and shame. "I thought I was protecting you. I thought you would be better off without vampires in your life. Without me."

Bella shook her head in disbelief. "How could you? How could you even _think_ that I could live without you, Edward?"

"I know. I'll never forgive myself," I growled.

Bella leaned against me, smiling through her tears. "You're so cut when you get fierce like that," she murmured.

I looked down into her face. Then I laughed and pulled her onto my lap. I loved how she fit perfectly into me, her arms looping around my neck. She rested her head on my chest and sighed contentedly. I wrapped my arms around her waist, horrified at how each one of her ribs pressed into my biceps. She hadn't been eating. Guilt and shame and fury bubbled inside me again.

But I pushed these feelings away and just held her as she drifted slowly off to sleep. I kissed her head and whispered, "I love you."

There was a short silence. Then came the mumbled reply, "I love you too."


End file.
